You Already Are
We exist in a body that cannot quite see itself.
Except for a few occasional mirror reflections and selfies, we don’t really know how we look throughout the day.
Yet we spend an inordinate amount of time on our looks, trying to please everyone else, through a body we cannot see.
Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life? Trying to please others without really knowing who you are?
You don’t want to, but in the absence of self awareness, that’s exactly what most people end up doing.
We are wired to be truly happy with our true selves.
We, after all, spend all our lives with ourselves.
Mostly because — well, it’s not like we have a choice anyway. We are trapped with a voice that never seems to shut up, inside our very own head.
But imagine being locked up in a confined space with someone — all your life? What are the chances of you not noticing them? Every wrinkle on their face? Every smile? What are the chances of you not knowing what triggers them and pump them up? Slim. Likely, zero.
You simply can’t not know the person you spend every wakening moment with.
Which is why I think you already know yourself. You’re already self aware. You just don’t know it yet — and therein lies the difference.
The Ins and Outs
Let me throw in the bitter pill first.
The entire process of knowing yourself is an uphill struggle. Accepting who you are and what you are good at is going to cause a turbulence in your mind. You might even have to step on your ego and pride to accept that you suck at leading a team, playing football, or riding a bike. Humility is hard.
On a scale from 1–10, with 10 being the hardest, I’d say it’s a 100. You’d fail half of the time. It’s far from easy.
Now, the magic pill.
If you’re willing to scale it, learn who you are, and avoid being misunderstood by your own self, then you are going to glow. You are going to learn to love and appreciate yourself and become happier than you’ve ever been.
How? It just happens. That’s what self awareness boils down to. That’s why only a handful of people are self-aware. That’s why all of them succeed and go on to accomplish great things in life.
Rule Number One: Find Out What Makes You Happy.
I’m not talking about ice creams.
Although, you can still make a living out of selling ice creams.
Speaking of careers and ice creams, a group of my friends actually found out a recipe to make ice cream hoppers.
For those of you who don’t know, hoppers are a hot sale in my country. When they tried it out, they didn’t care if others liked it or not. They just wanted to enjoy making it.
As crazy as it sounds, they added a hot food with something cold and came up with ice cream hoppers. But believe it or not, it tastes divine.
That’s the power of knowing your joy — even if it were ice creams and hoppers. You need to tap into what makes you happy before deciding how to pursue a career on it.
Rule Number Two: Know What You’re Good At
I’m good at amusing people. I can say stuff that flabbergast people.
But I’m also an awfully shy and awkward person. If I don’t hit it off with you the first time we meet, or the second, then it’s highly unlikely that we ever will.
But still, im good at amusing people. Also, I like words. I really like words. I even have a secret collection of my favorite words, phrases and idioms. Now that it’s no longer a secret, you can try hoarding words too. It’s fun.
So what does a girl who’s good at amusing people, and good at words do?
Did the choice look obvious from the get-go? It wasn’t. I could’ve chosen to be a comedian, or a marketer instead. But I had my awkwardness in the way, and promoting stuff I don’t believe in was a big turnoff for me.
Instead of letting those stop me from putting my sense of humor to use, I found another way to do it.
Here’s the thing. Nothing in life is served on a silver platter. You’re given a platter, alright. And a variety of items to go with it. What you serve on the platter, however, is in your hands. It’s going to be your choice.
You need to look into yourself, and put two and two together to fill your platter. Nobody else can do it for you. This is a journey you will have to trek on your own.
Rule Number Three: Pay Attention
I’m not a focused person — there I said it.
But I try to be. I’ve read Robin Sharma’s The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and I’m trying to bring focus into my life through the techniques he so explicitly speaks of.
I’m focusing to bring focus into my life. And it’s working. This post was a product of my exercise.
But how can you use focus to be self aware?
Here’s how: You pay attention to the people around you. Focus on what they think of you.
Now this is different from looking for validation. You’re not trying to validate anything. You’re merely going to observe how they perceive you instead of flat out asking them. Flattery from your loved ones won’t get you anywhere.
So instead, observe what your best friends think you’re good at doing. Do they usually put you in charge?Or do you find yourself following instructions and orders? Are you the heart of the party? Or the one shying away behind the curtains after doing all the work? Why do your friends/folks usually call up on you? What do they expect from you? Observe. Take mental notes.
How did I know that I can amuse people? I have a Twitter account with a considerable amount of following for an ordinary girl.
The friends I’ve met on Twitter find my tweets amusing. Random followers have taken the liberty to reach out to me and tell me the same.
I wasn’t, by any means, fishing for compliments. I paid attention to what people thought of me. I took mental notes.
Rule Number Four: Try Your Hand At it
Now that you know what you like, and what you are good at, stop staring into space.
Stop procrastinating. Stop wasting your energy on other things. Just stop.
And go all in.
By following the plain old formula: Ready. Set. And go.
Love music? Got a great voice? Then go ahead and start a YouTube channel.
Love writing? Got a knack for it? Start your own blog, reach out to newspapers, branch out.
Love cooking? Make great cinnamon rolls? Start your cookery page. Test new recipes out. Invite friends for a trial.
Just keep trying. And trying. And trying. Consistently.
Then, and only then, will you start seeing your work bear fruit.
People will start to follow your path, invest in your skills, or take you on board as a valuable asset.
The moment you believe in yourself and your potential, so will everyone else.